Updated: Mar 27, 2020

Get a Life. His & Hers Survival Guide to IVF.

It’s Saturday morning and it’s taken me just over a week to read this amazing story by Richard Mackney & Rosie Bray.

I’ve been stealing a chapter here and there at every opportunity; on the bus, while I’m walking(!), in bed and it’s honestly the most heartfelt, helpful and honest book I’ve ever read.

I’ve actually seen it recommended by some fellow infertiles (can’t believe I just wrote that- is that allowed?) and being blunt I thought: ‘Of course there’s self-help books that people will try to plug during this awful and emotional time- capture them while they’re down!’ However, after berating myself for falling into said trap I’m pleased to report that I couldn’t have been more wrong.

There are 16 chapters broken into digestible sections. Sections written by Rosie for ‘her’ and sections written by Richard for ‘him’ followed by a summary from a professional Dr James Nicopoullos who confirms their facts and adds his own medical advice. Before you move on to the next chapter it also confirms where you are in the process. Depending on your position you can skip chapters to those most relevant and if you’re ‘her’ you don’t have to read the ‘him’ bits. I very quickly decided to read it cover to cover. It’s gripping, I even read the chapter on miscarriage which the couple suffered after their second IVF attempt and the chapter on IVF working after their third attempt simply because I couldn’t put it down.

It’s informative, emotional, funny, sad, written in order like a story (which is why I think I wanted to read it all and reach the happy ending) but even more so it’s written from both perspectives of the couple and how they each coped with every step of the journey.

Until now I’ve been nervous about starting IVF but eager at the same time. I’m aware there’s lots of injections (which means needles that I hate) and hormones (which I have never really been able to manage effectively!). So it gives you great insight in a lot of detail just what it takes to get you through the process as well as how he’s feeling at the same time even though it might look like he’s not having to do very much.

I found reading both his and hers extremely helpful and I’d actually recommend that everyone read it that way. Now I’ve finished it, it’s Tom’s turn.

I enjoyed the book so much so that I’m actually excited to start our ICSI cycle and it’s put me in a much more positive mindset that I’m hugely grateful for. It’s dispelled a lot of myths, confirmed bits that I thought would be shitty but also mentally prepared me for what’s to come.

It’s also mega hard to write a book review without spoiling it so I guess you’ll have to take my word for just how good it is! I’d even recommend passing a copy to parents or friends who might be struggling to understand the process or what you’re about to embark on if they have the time. So 10/10 from me.

Happy Saturday everyone! I’m keen to hear your other book recommendations.

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