Updated: Mar 27, 2020

We're back in the game!

As if this whole thing wasn't enough of a rollercoaster already, we're back on track just in time for Ovaleap (stims).

So I had a follow up scan to Monday's disaster and this time it was with Mr Valentine Akande who's the consultant gynaecologist at my clinic. He personally phoned us last night to apologise for the confusion over my scans, fibroid and general back and forth on decision making and wanted to see my scan personally this morning so that he could advise on next steps accordingly.

It's always so lovely to have an internal ultrasound... I believe many of my TTC sisters refer to her as "Wanda" as you can see from the photo I am more than thrilled. But needs must. There was a hilarious moment where the nurse had started the scan already and Mr Akande wanted to take over so they awkwardly had to swap positions whilst keeping Wanda firmly in place... Gross.

He took a lot of time to explain to me what it is they think they can see and he's 99% certain it's an adenomyoma - in short, this usually comes hand in hand with endometriosis and is a mass of muscle. In my case it's indenting the utuerus ever so slightly which is obviously bad news for implantation of any embryos. Much the same as a fibroid.

So Mr Akande said I could continue in my case because it's small enough to be left alone and may actually do more damage if they tried surgery beforehand. He gave a worse case scenario that we might get to egg collection and have our embryos frozen while they make it more comfortable to put an embryo back. But for now, we're good to go. ALSO, my lining had gone down to 3.8mm when it was 8.8mm on Monday. Not even sure how that happened as I'd finished my period but either way we've started stims as planned this evening 💉

It's been an emotional day as we've basically spent the last 2 days coming up with a back up plan if the cycle got cancelled. It consisted of moving to Canada, buying a chateau in France, quitting our jobs and going on a 6 month holiday, etc etc. In the short term we also planned to go out on the lash this weekend to have a massive blow out. I won't lie there was like 1% of me that was slightly disappointed about not being able to do that now. The worst part of this whole process is the back and forth, up and down, yes and no. I can handle the injections, I can handle information and scans but the moment anyone suggests moving away from the little plan that we have for ourselves I lose my absolute shit. It feels so cruel to my brain and emotions.

We saw a lovely nurse after the scan who went through how to use the big green pen for Ovaleap and she took her time with us. I got a bit teary again from such a busy morning and she sat and empathised with me for a while instead of making me feel awkward. She also promised that I would feel better on stims emotionally and be much happier by the weekend, so I am clinging on to that.

So here we are this evening having just done our first stims injection. Head on over to my Instagram to see a video of the first one. I look an absolute state but it's me so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thanks a lot to everyone for your support following Monday's news. It means a whole lot x

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