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I'VE STOPPED OVULATING ๐Ÿ™„

Of course it's complicated because it's me


Just a quick recap. We are due to have a frozen embryo transfer this cycle and I'm having something called a Modified Natural Cycle where I track my period from day 1 and take home ovulation tests until I get a hormone surge. Once I surge, embryo is implanted 5 days later.


To test for ovulation, I've been using Clear Blue ovulation tests which show an empty circle when you're not ovulating, a flashing smiley face when you're ovulating and a solid smiley face when you're having a surge. I was supposed to call the clinic when I got to the solid smiley face ๐Ÿ˜Š so they could scan and check my lining.


Today, as I write, it's day 13. Unlucky for some and definitely unlucky for me. Since Wednesday (day 9) I've been ovulating and seeing a cute little flashing smiley face, spurring me on! I've had that result twice a day since then waiting patiently for the solid smiley. But this morning, I've woken up, followed the rules and tested with my first pee of the day and it's a FUCKING EMPTY CIRCLE!


So there are a few scenarios that I now find myself over thinking:


  1. It's Sunday, the clinic is not open to help me today. Great.

  2. I've stopped ovulating completely and we'll miss doing our transfer this cycle and have to wait for the next one.

  3. It's a dud test or not quite accurate and when I test again in 12 hours time I'll see the flashing smiley again or better still a solid one.

  4. Maybe you have peaks and troughs whilst ovulating and your hormones (or just my hormones) go up and down during a cycle and I will still have time to get a solid smiley face this cycle.


Just back to point one briefly. The clinic is closed even though I tried 3 of their phone lines about twice each before confirming it for myself. But I also messaged them on Facebook and the lovely Carrie got back to me. She said to keep testing until day 16 (which will be Wednesday next week) before calling the clinic about the empty circles. They can change to a medical cycle from day 19. Now I have no idea what that means and I didn't want to quiz her on a Sunday when she's managing the Facebook page but it will mean that our transfer is delayed somewhat.


On the positive side, it means that there's still a chance I can still see a solid smiley face between now and Wednesday (though the negative voice in my head says I won't).


I'm also hugely frustrated that this is happening when everything's been so positive since the clinic reopened. It was finally happening! But now there might be more waiting to do. I've said it before but I swear the majority of IVF and infertility is waiting, waiting for something to happen, waiting for something to work, waiting for your period, waiting for medication to take effect, waiting for results, waiting for life to start!


I'm writing today's blog in the hope that someone else has been through the same (although I also hope not because it's a complete head fuck). But if you have, maybe you can share some tips / thoughts / advice with me?


Also, how sad and lifeless is the empty circle result? It looks so numb and depressing.


In the meantime, you can find me pacing the floors at home until 8pm tonight when I can test again ๐Ÿ˜‚



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