Updated: Mar 27, 2020
The hilarious battle to make a baby, we were never going to have.
Before you get too excited, we never used a pair of fluffy handcuffs and I'm not going to divulge information about my sex life, not yet anyway - we'll see how the blog goes! This is more about the ridiculous things we did or tried in order to get pregnant having zero knowledge of what was going on with our insides making it impossible for it to ever happen. Oh how we laugh about it now...
The list of things we did:
Vitamins - not just the pre-natal ones for him and her, oh no. I was most concerned about being vegetarian and getting enough protein so there were many bottles of different potions every morning to get through. Naturally I was very pissed off with myself and Tom if we forgot to take them.
Reduced drinking - This was something we'd have many an argument over! We're quite a sociable couple and living in Bristol there's always something going on to occupy us. We ditched the 'glass of wine with dinner' routine and considered it 'treating ourselves' when we had a night out.
Legs in the air - After we'd... uh... do the thing... I would lie with my legs in air, Tom would prop a pillow under my bum for a bit more elevation and I'd time myself to see how long I could stay like that. I'd read somewhere that you should do this for at least 15 minutes to give the little guys a chance. I'd imagine them swimming up to their destination and get all giddy thinking 'this time it'll be the one'.
Acupuncture - My mum had this occasionally to help with stress and always raved about it. I'm terrified of needles so was never sure. I've read lots of materials on how powerful it can be with helping you relax for conception but also to reduce period pain so thought 'why not?' Now I'm not completely dismissing this one as it did really help with my periods but there was no amount of needle pricks that were going to get me pregnant!
Card Reading - This was actually the most useful thing that I did when I look back. The mum of a friend of mine did them at a time that I was feeling particularly frustrated and helped me to compartmentalise a lot of my emotions. A really worthwhile exercise that I actually cherish but again wasn't going to get me pregnant.
Apps and planning - The worst possible thing we could have done. Guaranteed to extinguish any flame of desire we may have been feeling! Tracking my periods on an app and therefore knowing my most fertile days which became known in our house as 'the green days' because that was the colour they were on the calendar in the app. "But we have to have sex today because it's at 27% likely!" For anyone looking to get pregnant I would totally discourage this.
Regularity of sex - we'd constantly worry that we weren't doing it enough and that it was our fault it wasn't happening.
Ovulation tests - I'll be honest, I was never actually sure if I was using these right and they would always give me a different reading, but we tried them!
Making up with my Dad - My parents got divorced when I was 5 years old and there followed a very difficult relationship with my Dad. We lost touch and through a card reading all signs pointed towards reconciliation. I thought it would be a good idea to make amends. I'd often get upset when talking to Tom about him or wonder if he ever thought about me. For my mental health it did wonders and we text from time to time - I generally feel at peace with our relationship.
Doctor surgery visits - There's a known rule among those trying to conceive that you don't go and see your GP for at least a year from when you start trying. We tried to adhere to this and mostly we did, but with Tom's complications from previous health scares we went after around 9 months. This did somewhat fast track our experience into finding out what was going on and thank goodness I had problem periods too because they were more concerned about investigating those.
Joined the gym - There are no adverse affects to this except that I hate the experience!
Dieting - Not just 'being good' but specifically eating foods that are supposed to be help with fertility.
Early detection pregnancy tests - I'm not sure if it was the impatient side of me or the desperation of wanting it so much, but there are tests you can buy from Amazon that tell you slightly earlier than the over the counter tests. Obviously I never got a positive one.
The point I'm trying to make is that for Tom and I, none of these things were ever going to work. If any of the above worked for you - that's great news! But in our case, we'd beat ourselves up on everything listed above and more on a daily basis only to be disappointed again when 'flow was back in town.'
I can't tell you the heartache we went through seeing that negative pregnancy test again and again for 3 years. But you can read more about that in another blog post soon.
Would be great to see some of the things you tried in the comments!