Updated: Oct 26, 2021
I'd like to request some bug fixes from whoever invented the concept of time please!
If whoever invented the concept of time could run an update please to include fast forwarding, rewinding and pausing; that would be great, thanks.
Our baby boy is 8 months old now and whilst when you're in the thick of it, it feels like it's taken forever to get to this point, it's also flown by in the blink of an eye. It's really hard to describe.
The days can sometimes feel long. Like really long. And then other days are over in a flash and before you know it you've ended up on the sofa with dinner and a glass of wine after the bedtime routine. How did that happen? I've got some exciting news in that I will shortly be starting a new job (I'm planning a whole other blog post about working mums). I can't wait to get stuck in and use my brain for something other than weaning and baby games but I've so very much loved this new chapter for myself and my family. We know how incredibly lucky we are to have Freddie and we think about that everyday, but I refuse to feel guilty for having a moan every now and then! You can read about "mum guilt" on a previous blog post.
Things I'd like to rewind Sometimes (and this might be weird) I want to rewind to the days I was injecting hormones into my belly and tell myself it was going to happen so to keep going, stop crying and stay strong. I want to rewind to the first 2-3 weeks of Freddie being on this planet because that's probably when he slept the most! Albeit in short bursts, I knew where I stood! I want to rewind to my birth so I can relive that elation of holding my baby in my arms for the first time telling him I was his mummy. Maybe not the stitches bit but you might only get to do it once, right? Things I'd like to fast forward The hard, long, sleepless nights when he's teething, generally doesn't want to sleep or is grouchy. I long for it to be morning! And then sometimes the days are just as hard so they can speed up too please. Having said that, we have recently aced sleep training - I will happily share a document with anyone who needs it - just ask! Sometimes I want a glimpse into the future of who Freddie might become. What are his hopes, dreams, what career will he end up doing? Although I know when we get to these moments I'll be wishing I could rewind all over again. Things I'd like to pause Those moments where the 3 of us are doing something together. Everyone is laughing and I know I'm making really special memories. His growth! He is such a sprout! I go to him in the morning and I swear he's grown several inches overnight. His legs are so long.
And then there is time beyond the obvious. There's time I wish I'd had more of that will never exist. Time with my grandfather who we lost in April and managed to meet Freddie once. Time I wish I could share Freddie with him, see them together and time for them to know each other. They are so alike! Time feels like it's never my own and even when I get time to myself, I spend it planning other parts of time in my life. I'm never simply wasting it. Why is time such a complex concept? We're never satisfied with how it works! How are you finding your time is spent?